Today, my family of five hopped on our very first flight together as a unit. It started smooth and ended very, VERY rough, to say the least. Our youngest is newly two, and this was her first time flying. The last forty-five minutes of the flight, she screamed, screeched, and hollered. She was over it and showed us all with a full-blown meltdown. All I could do was try to hold her, love on her, and cry too. I felt so helpless and so very sad. There were a lot of emotions swirling between the two of us. Yesterday, I got back from Wyoming feeling inspired and refreshed, and today, I got off the plane in Milwaukee feeling overwhelmed, tired, and wanting to be home. My little one was beyond exhausted, and I felt so guilty for having her out and off her schedule. We were all doing our best, and our best didn't feel very great. It was a lot to handle, and as I type this, my nervous system feels on edge—still.
Nevertheless, we made it to my in-laws. The cousins were thrilled to see each other, and I had a nice sunset walk with my husband. I am so grateful we arrived, and I am doing my best not to think too far ahead about our flight home in a few days. Lately, I've been trying to be entirely in the present, even when the present looks like a hot mess. I tell myself, there's always something to learn when we are alive. And even though when emotions and energy are high, it's hard to look at (or for) the lesson. The one that stood out to me and my husband the most today was evident. We both looked at each other and said: Well, we tried, and we won't be trying this again for a while.
For now, that's a good enough lesson.
Milwaukee's weather was beautiful today, and that made Ryan and I smile. We're considering relocating here, so it's nice to feel aligned and excited when visiting my in-laws. Even though the trip here was a doozy, being settled for now is nice. My walk helped me decompress a lot. I did two miles in a beautiful neighborhood and celebrated day 41 of walking with a vanilla bean cardamom latte. That felt soul-warming. The consistency of my walking has been so grounding. It has reminded me to get out of my head and into my heart. After that flight, all I wanted to do was walk and decompress. Parenthood, as beautiful as it is, can cause us to abandon promises to ourselves completely. I've had some high-stress mommy moments these last 41 days, but my walk always brings me back home to myself. I'm so glad I'm still going strong, even on the days I'm too tired, drained, and ready to call it quits. It's easier to stay put than to walk, but I walk anyway.
I've never been more grateful to be on the ground and in my walking shoes than today. I'm looking forward to a good night's rest and rejuvenated energy come tomorrow, but for now, I will enjoy the silence of our AirBnB and the sleeping breaths of our children.
Community, what are you grateful for this week? Keep your emails and comments coming (email@example.com).