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Over the years, I've learned how to find liberation in letting go. Change has been such an amazing teacher for me, especially as someone who is comfortable with things "just as they are." But a lesson I'm learning on this path of gratitude is that growth has trouble lingering in comfort. It requires us to feel everything and be open to anything. In the discomfort of growth, I can see, feel, and appreciate the changes I have made or need to me.
Today marked day 27 of my morning walks. This week, I was on a walk and had to stop. I started crying out of nowhere. My heart was so full, and I had no idea why. Other people were out walking. Kids were going to school. Cars zoomed by. My tears started to flow, even though I was fighting it. I was trying so hard to hold them back to avoid being uncomfortable. I didn't have a tissue. I didn't have privacy. I didn't want anyone to see me crying and hyperventilating on the side of the road—surely, someone would've thought something was wrong or that I was hurt.
Despite trying to hold my tears back, they started flowing fast. I had to stop walking, turn away, and take ten deep breaths. It took me a few minutes to get my emotions under control. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for keeping the promise to walk every day to myself. I had been so stuck in a cycle of being too scared to try and be uncomfortable that these morning walks are profoundly changing my life. I'd gotten so lost in my work, in motherhood, and trying to be everything to everyone except myself that on this 27th walk, my heart exploded. I'm slowly moving away from self-abandonment and closer to self-nurturing—and doing so not as an afterthought but a daily practice of self-commitment.
I'm becoming more comfortable with keeping promises to myself.
I'm becoming more open to letting things go, even when it's hard, with love at the center of the release.
I'm becoming okay with taking things a step at a time.
I am trusting that even in uncomfortable seasons of change, there is beauty in the becoming.
I am learning to greet the challenging moments in my life with gratitude.
I am learning to let go with unconditional love.
I am learning to give myself more grace.
Growth has pushed me to walk and explore my feelings no matter what. Rain or shine. I needed this change. I needed this promise to get back into my body and feeling my best. There have been many days that I didn't want to walk, but I got my butt up. Even if that means I cry my way through it.
I am growing so much closer to myself through the ease and the challenges of walking. My gratitude practice shifts and moves me to pay closer attention to where and how I grow—even through the tender moments and discomfort.
Email me your gratitude reflections: email@example.com