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Gratitude for Self-Doubt

How I love others is not always how I love myself. I want that to change.

Alex Elle

Jan 1
13

We made it to 2022! Happy New Year. Today, I did my 104th-morning walk in Arizona. It's beautiful here, and I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and ease. Ease is one of my favorite words. I've been in town since the 28th. I'm here teaching at Civana until the 5th, and wow, has it been an experience. I am in love with this place, the energy, the chilly weather, and the warmth of the people. I've missed teaching and sharing space in person. There's nothing like it.

Every year, my husband and I make a list of intentions. This year is my first year without him in nine years. He's home with the kids while I teach. I made my list and shared them with him through text. Making my list of what I intend to do or feel is my favorite part of the new year. I love the illusion of fresh starts—the start of a new week, the start of a new project, the beginning of a new year—each brings me this feeling and sense of giddiness and possibility.

One thing I intended to leave in 2021, was my self-doubt. I've carried that with me long enough. Not believing in myself, or being too scared to try something new, has kept me stuck in many ways. Working through this is a work in progress that I am committed to practicing. In my Writing to Heal class the other day, we wrote letters to our self-doubt. I wanted to share mine with you. As 2021 came to a close, I realized that I am so worthy of the love, care, and belief that I pour into others. How I talk to myself is not how I speak to others. How I love others is not always how I love myself. I want that to change.

In 2022, I intend to be my own greatest cheerleader, my own greatest lover, my own best friend. This is the year of emotional expansion and inner connection.

Dear self-doubt,

I know you are here because I've failed before. You've seen me at my lowest point and stuck by me at my peak. It's always been you and me. Maybe it's time to part ways, give each other space and time to breathe and heal. Perhaps you're back to check-in or wish me well with that "little thing" I'm trying to do. Our bond is unhealthy. You make me feel small and incapable. You make me feel like I don't matter. But your presence is starting to remind me that I have a choice—a choice to try anyway—to show up regardless and be who I want to be in the world. Despite you being in tow, I can be who I want to be in the world. I don't fear your presence like I once did. You are a teacher these days. You remind me that I get to press forward and do that little or big thing regardless. I can create the life I want. I can design the life I see for myself. It's not lost on me that we've come a long way together, and now it is time for you to go your way and me to go mine. I am choosing self-trust over self-doubt. Thank you for teaching me how to become stronger with every step. I am grateful to you.

Love,

Alex

Friends, I wish you all a safe, prosperous, and life-filling 2022! Thank you for being here with me.

Download our free writing practice on Emotional Wellness HERE if you haven't already.

Write a letter to your self-doubt and see what emerges.

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Comments
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13 Comments

  • Krystle Brailey
    Alex, you have no idea how much I need this exact letter today. I’ve struggled with a lack of self-trust for so long that it seemed like second nature to me. This year I intend to trust myself and to give myself grace and love.
    Thank you for always s…
    See more
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    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      Rooting you ON! Sending you so much love. YES to self-trust!
      • 24w
  • Kelsey McMullen
    Alex, you took the words right from my mouth. I too made a resolution to leave behind my self-doubt. Your letter to your self-doubt was very enlightening for me and I am thinking of writing my own letter myself. This message came just at the right time…
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    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      I am so glad it resonated, Kelsey! I hope you do write your letter, too. It's so freeing. Happy New Year. xo
      • 24w
  • Connie Liu
    Deeply appreciated for such a heart-warming sharing!
    My new year resolution will definitely evolve into an appreciation for all sorts of sweetness and also each reliance on trusting in LOVE.
    Hopefully 2022 is a blessed year for all!
    2
    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      LOVE the word "sweetness." Thank you for sharing and happy 2022! x
      • 24w
  • Tiffany Simon
    This one hit home and different. I welcome these words with open arms and ears, to hear it and embrace it. Working on how I can lay to rest the self doubt that resides within me. Thank you!
    2
    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      Big love to you! I hope the words stick with you as long as you need them to.
      • 24w
  • Jaina Canada
    I’m breaking up with my own self-doubt this year too. Home girl has got to go. Reading this was right on time. I wish you nothing but peace and blessings for 2022.
    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      Celebrating you! Wishing you the same. ❤
      • 24w
  • Shana Dillon
    Thank you for sharing. As always your words spark some hope as I untangle & process the self doubt that may knock at my door. May we all continue to rise & glow in growth during this New Bright Year of 2022.
    tu amiga 💛🌻
    2
    • 24w
    • Author
      Alex Elle
      Thank you for receiving! I am grateful. Rooting you on and celebrating you as you untangle and process. Big love, Shana! xo
      • 24w
  • Samm Mackk
    This is a good read. I just started back writing some, so I plan to use this. I just shared it with someone and plan to use this tool for my groups. Thank you for sharing with us.
    • 23w
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