The other day, I thought about how far I've come in my healing. Over the past ten years, I have done my best to change for the better. Healing is an act of community care, in my opinion. Choosing to change, and rewrite my narrative, is creating restoration within my lineage. Breaking generational cycles that never aligned with me, to begin with, has been a challenging feat but something that I've grown to see as sacred. This reflection came after a feeling a bit down. I'd gone on a long walk, and some tender feelings came to the surface. I found myself questioning if I am truly made for the healing and emotional expansion that I'm doing. Some days I feel like I'm healing in circles, and no real change is happening. Self-doubt can be so hard to sort through, but it is also a glorious teacher if we allow it to be.
Knowing that my inner critique had reared its head, I called a friend to talk through some things. Their reassurance was exactly what I needed. They reminded me to really look at how far I've journeyed, how I've changed, and how I've emotionally matured—not just glance at it. I listened as they pointed out how they've seen me grow over the last five years in particular. That was just the reflection I needed. As my mom used to say, sometimes people can see us better than we can see ourselves. Having people in our lives who we feel safe with act as a mirror is magnificent. I am so grateful that I can call on people who can reflect my truth back to me when I need it.
After our conversation, I finished my walk and looked at all the ways I've changed over the years. I literally asked myself, how have you changed? The transformations that have made me feel the most grateful and proud are below.
I no longer stay in unhealthy relationships because I think I have no choice. When I realized that I had a voice and could advocate for myself by letting go, speaking up, and moving on, my life got better. Parting ways isn't easy. Some people I had to walk away from, I loved deeply. But staying in relationships (be it romantic, platonic, or familial) that are not energetically aligned or emotionally safe causes more harm than good. I'm grateful that I learned I don't have to stay in harmful or dysfunctional connections.
I stopped holding myself hostage to my mistakes. Punishing myself for my past and things I can't change was something I did often. I struggled to move on from my missteps because of shame and guilt. I'm grateful that I've learned to give myself grace and space to be flawed and human—every shortcoming has birthed a lesson.
I allow myself to be fully loved and seen. For many years, I thought I was not worthy of love, especially from myself. Self-love was foreign to me. There was a lot of messaging and conditioning in my life that told me I wasn't worthy. I'm grateful that I've learned how to receive healthy love and give it. I'm so thankful that there are people in my life who see me, care for me, and love me deeply.
Community: What things on your path/journey are you grateful for? When you're having moments of self-doubt, how do you shake it?
Leave your reflections below.
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